Here I am again. And as you may have guessed by now, YES!!! Ya’ girl is still alive, well and kicking. I have and will continue to live beyond the “5 year mark of cured” classified by conventional treatment for remission or something like that. I remember thinking who just wants to live another 5 years??? And I guess that’s enough for most but I had different plans and knew that I wanted to and would live far beyond 5 years of a chronic dis-ease without conventional treatment using the standard poisoning via chemotherapy and burning via radiation. Now I know the biggest question for many of you would be: Did the doctors tell me that I no longer have any disease left in my body?
And as much as I would like to answer this in a manner that soothes you the answer is no BUT keep reading!!! Here’s why, due to the fact that I have been under hospice care several times, I am deemed by the medical establishment as a palliative care patient with no need for further test. Therefore when I get “uncomfortable” and proceed to the emergency room for anything they list me as a person headed fast forward to death… Sad but true….Any way I know I left everyone hanging on my last post because I was so far behind on posting period. Then life took its toll and started to weave and wind things up again in my life. It has exceeded being called a rollercoaster, this right here… has been a world wind and that’s still putting in lightly. So to get us all caught up and back on good standings, I am simply going to fast forward to today with a few drops of what has happened over the last year.
Soooooo……. I ended up back in and under hospice care AGAIN!!!! in April 2018. This time was stress related due to family issues. In February I lost my voice. Now for most, a sore throat, hoarse voice or laryngitis only last a few days to a couple of weeks…well for me it was 6 months. On a spiritual level, I believe it was due to my physical behavior of not saying what I wanted or simply speaking up for myself and holding my feelings in when conversations or situations would get heated. I would always be the one to want to keep the peace. Well after that 6 months its hard to get me to shut up at times. I say and speak my mind…. I have found a way of doing so without hurting anyone. At least those are my greatest intentions.
Back to hospice details so it started with the worst headache known to man. It literally felt like someone had a sledge hammer swinging around in my head. The headaches induced nausea followed by stomach twisting vomiting convulsions. I could not even hold my head up. I sat in my balled up fetal positions for about a week. Then we decided to call 911 when it became too much to bear.
When I arrived at the ER the first question was is she a “cancer” patient. While this info maybe relative I think it makes the care providers bias to the root of whatever the problem may truly be occurring at the time. My current situation was probably not “cancer” related, my blood pressure was 222/167!!!! clearly this was the problem but again due to the diagnosis the only test done was to search for more dis-ease NOT in my entire body but now in my head because of the headache. Some doctors said it moved to my head, some said it may just be calcifications…. well you know what I decided it was, calcifications, yet another temporary inconvenience or yet another thing to conquer.
Well after being in ICU for over a week then on to a general room, it was off to hospice again because the best prognosis they could see was …. death. Every time they send me there I get a little rattled because I know people are sent there to die….. When I go I find LIFE!!!! I always question why am I here again, what lesson is there to be learned.
This time around I learned that sickness and disease is a STATE of MIND!!! People are only sick because they believe in their minds they are ill.
Disease is a
State of Mind
I will leave you to ponder on that until my next post. Again, thanks for reading
Much Love, Peace, Compassion and Forgiveness