Not to Live but to Die…In Order to Live

My husband with all his wise{ness} and analytical{ness}…(yes words I created to describe his ability to deeply analyze everything in life and be extremely connected to God to receive wisdom from many situations or circumstances) asked me one day after me constantly nagging him about going to church.

“What if everything you were ever taught was wrong?”

At the moment when he asked, of course, I thought here we go again. This man will look so far beyond the simplest things. Why is it that he just can’t get up and go to church with me like a good husband. He would ask, who deemed it necessary for collections to be done before service or announcements done before collection and what happened to the pureness of worship service. He was attempting to impress upon me that it’s not about the actions of religion but more about a personal relationship with God. Later, I thought maybe he was on to something; what if some of the things I was taught was wrong…who said everything I was doing was right. Then one day the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and all I could hear was the scripture that says “I don’t know you, get away from me you workers of unrighteousness” Luke 13:27. I thought how sad it would be to continually show up to church every Sunday then get to heaven and God not know me. Please, do not misunderstand my words, I am not scrutinizing the organization of church but I am speaking to the ones who will be crippled by the religious experience and who will never understand a personal relationship with God which is the foundation of healing faith. What I mean by experience is going on Sunday hearing the word and by Tuesday the sermon is a distant memory. Furthermore, lacking that relationship whereas you are solely relying on Sunday and the pastor. Well, I need Him daily! I began to really think deeply about different aspects of my life including but definitely not limited to how to love. I questioned myself “are you loving others the way they want to be loved or how you were taught to love and how is that beneficial to the receiver of your love because truthfully it comes from a selfish place if its not how the receiver interprets love”… I know deep right, simply put what if how I was taught to love doesn’t feel like love to others. Now trust me, I can go on and on about the revelations I have received about love but let me name a few:

  • Love is seeing beyond a persons’ faults and seeing God in all
  • Perception is the key to understanding how a person wants to be loved, understanding their expectations of love not your own…selfless love
  • Love is an emotion God gave us all, you simply have to remove a lot of yourself to give it away…more selflessness

This is one of many times I have asked myself this question within the last few years and received what I truly know is wisdom as it pertains to love. Even when I’m not on my best behavior in this area, I have learned to apologize and ask for forgiveness. I have learned to communicate instead of harboring anger. I told you I am healing from so much more, physical healing is just the by product of a wondrous work in me by God. So as time has progressed since the first time I was asked this question, I now ask myself this question often. I definitely had to ask myself this question when I was diagnosed with lung cancer. What if everything that I was taught about faith healing, modern medicine, cancer treatments, prescription drugs, food, about how to cook, and so on was wrong?????? And to take things a little further who labeled sausage, eggs, pancakes and sugary cereal as a complete breakfast, who said that 3 meals a day was correct with meat being the base with other things built around the meat. Why is it that a salad is not “labeled” as breakfast and meats all together inappropriate for any meal??? These questions may sound fruitless to many but really think about it for a moment, our typical first meal of the day has little to no worthy nutritional value.

The question this time was extremely serious not to say that to question love wasn’t but love is a lot more forgiving than facing death. I thought how can I trust modern medicine again, it was suppose to cure me the first time around…right….WRONG!!! And to make matters worse, at the time of my diagnosis I had 6 friends who had been diagnosed with different cancers that had returned and all were deceased. Unfortunately this does not include anyone I met while working in healthcare. So with all that said, I chose “not to live but to die”….. I know you’re wondering, “who in the world wants to do that?”. Well I had to die in order live as the new Kari full of spirit and life. I had to mentality and spiritually kill my flesh to hear from God to hear the Holy Spirit speak and to accept all the promises Jesus have provided through His coming and resurrection.  I (Kari in the flesh) had to die so that I no longer feared the unthinkable. I now rightfully have two dates of birth December 23 and November 3. The day the doctor walked in the ER room to tell me I had lung cancer was the day I started living. November 3, 2012 at 3:05pm, 154 lbs. and 65 inches long. Wow that’s a huge baby!!

As I continue to research to find answers I have found some pretty amazing information. In the 1800s we were allowed to choose between the type of health professional, allopath (modern medicine) or imperialist (natural healing physician). The belief system for the two professions were quite different: Allopath believed in driving the disease from the body by administering huge dosages of toxic material – Imperialist believed in stimulating the body’s own defense system to heal itself by using nutrition instead of toxins. Unfortunately, the realm of medicine was taken over in a short 20 year period by the Rockefeller’s and Carnegie’s, bought at a small price with money. They simply made donations to medical schools in return for people they knew who had their best interest in mind to be placed on the boards of directors at the schools. This led to medical students being taught within the first few years of school how to prescribe medications for sickness which created huge profits in pharmaceuticals and only receiving at most 4 semester hrs. of nutritional training. You see the drugs could be patented and nutritional things from the earth could not be patented. Henceforth, selling out a profession that was intended to help all turning it into a money making machine. Cancer treatments alone are in excess of $50 billion dollars per year, that’s right $50,000,000,000…..that’s a lot of zeroes! And by the 1930’s the imperialist physicians were demonized to the point of non existence not even being able to hold a license to practice. The powers that be used the media, the same way we do today to start the quack campaigns across America. Now this is the condensed version of this series of events, you can watch the documentary, Cancer the Forbidden Cures (click to view) for the awful, heartless details of how we became the commodity for the cancer industry. It is quoted in the documentary that with allopath the patient died of the cure not the disease and with imperialist the patient died of the disease not the cure.

Furthermore we (I know I definitely was by someone) were taught at the sign of sickness to get over the counter medicines or see you physician for a medicine. What we fail to realize is that we are so busy attempting to silence the body of our symptoms forgoing the fact that it is our body screaming for help due to an underlying issue. I mentioned in a previous post that cancer was NOT my ailment it was the end result of things I ignored or covered with over the counter and prescription meds. For instance, before the breast cancer diagnosis I had debilitating headaches and a pain in my right arm that was unbearable. I took lots of Tylenol, Advil, and Ibuprofen 800. My urine had a very intense odor that I could only explain to the doctor as a rubber like smell and for this I was given no answer but take antibiotics. I did not even slightly consider how I was living with diet nor stress.

41SSED0X5uL._SL200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-dp,TopRight,12,-18_SH30_OU01_AA200_Well not anymore!!! During this trial in my life I have now learned that I must and will first consult the Holy Spirit for everything. I will reach inside my inner spirit to seek answers that are all before us if we seek, listen, and learn. The body God created is a superior mechanism that He designed to heal itself. I will remind you of Dr. Tilden’s quote for the last post, “disease is of man’s own building.” My cousin Rod loaned me a book to read which is filled with great advise on addressing disease that is written by Mikhail Tombak, Ph.D. He quotes Max Gerson, M.D. in the book saying that we are “1% victims and 99% authors of cancers.”

The majority of people diagnosed with cancer will never hear the words, you must change your eating habits and lifestyle if you want to live. Instead they are immediately signed up for treatment using a surgery, which is the best modality provided the cancer is local, that may be combined with chemotherapy and/or radiation; one, the other, or both. Then they are enlisted in what I call the Army of Fear to have a higher awareness of the disease to ensure they have frequent check ups and enlist others in this army with a sense that early detection is the key. Sadly, early detection is key but not enough because I can make you aware of something but it will not prevent it. In other words, I can be aware that it’s going to rain but if I do not prepare the awareness serves not purpose, I will still get wet…I can tell a man when and where to get your PSA levels for prostate checked but it will not prevent a man from getting prostate cancer.

I know this post was extremely long but I had to build the thought provoking momentum to get you to open your mind to a higher level of thinking when it comes to your personal health. A friend (Joy Grady) reminded me of something I said in an interview:

You have to become the PRESIDENT of a healthier you, allow your physician to be your VICE PRESIDENT  and God be your VENTURE CAPITALIST because without Him none of this matters

Finally, this post is the bridge for me to share all the prevention information that I research (and will leave room for you to research on your own).  Please locate the new tab labeled  Wiser Wednesdays, this page will contain helpful information on the importance of lifestyle changes regardless to the method of treatment, information from medical journals on the convention therapies and alternative therapies, as well as any other information that will be conducive to living a healthy lifestyle without the fear of disease.

Here is a quick story in closing: Moya and I met a young man about a year ago name Ty. He was a college student here in the States from Zimbabwe. We couldn’t help but strike up a conversation with him due to our desire to one day visit Africa. In the conversation we talked about the misconceptions that many have about Africa. Many think it is a dirty, dry and barren land however it is quite on the contrary. He showed us beautiful images of his home land which were breathtaking. Ty, who is probably young enough to be our son shared with us a lesson from his father. I bet he had no idea how his next few words would impress upon two people who were old enough to be his parents:

“Always find you own TRUTH”

I hope you find these 5 words as powerful as we did that very day and still continue to do so everyday.

Seeking & Finding,



2 Comments Add yours

  1. Anonymous says:

    ❤ this post in a very deep, personal and particular way. It was just what I needed…. Thank you Kari. Mel

    1. karimw72 says:

      You’re welcome Mel.

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