The last week or so has been some what strange. It has been filled with what I call pings and pangs. I’ve had aches in my knee and thigh joint area. It feels like a quick knife to that particular area that strikes then goes away. The lymph nodes in my chest have been up and down with swelling again. I had two days with an upset stomach which made it hard to drink my juices and I had to resort to eating bread to calm the queasiness. I have no worries because I know that the body with its miraculous healing powers given by God, goes through healing reactions. Healing reactions are temporary symptoms that occur only on deep healing regimens in which the body retraces or goes back and heals old infections, wounds, injuries, or other imbalances from the past. Many are related to eliminating toxic substances, healing chronic infections, or metabolic shifts that take place as a body heals and its vitality increases (Lawrence Wilson, MD, 2013). Despite all, I have given it all to God and continue to feel really good physically. Emotionally, it’s a whole new story. For those who have or will chose this same route for healing be prepared because there will be people who will not support you or have the same level of faith. It could be the very person who you may have loved and supported through thick and thin. This hurts more than words can express but you have got to stick to your guns to stay focused on the path God has given to you.
I knew the decision to not have chemo and radiation would upset some but all I asked for was support. Support means whether or not you agree with the decision you show your support with prayer, phones call, text messages, or what form of communication is fitting. It has become emotionally draining to know some would be quick to judge how I have decided to live my life. I haven’t committed a crime nor am I doing something that would have a negative repercussion to my life, for in Christ is to live, to die is gain. And no I’m not dying which is inevitable for us all but I am definitely living in Christ!
This is a life decision. Emotional healing is more detrimental than physical healing and frankly I don’t need the “extras” just genuine love and support. Anyway, this was just a piece of my mind…. A sincere thank you to all who have been a great support and source of inspiration, you know what’s next…. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!
What is precious time? Precious time is relevant to the person, therefore the perception for all will differ according to what each of us as individuals define how our time is spent. A non believer and a person who lacks true healing faith in God may think not having chemotherapy and radiation is wasting time without taking into account the flip side to having these toxic drugs administered to the body. They destroy healthy cells, wreak havoc on the immune system and make a person so debilitated and sick that the quality of life no longer has any quality. It renders a person extremely sick, nauseated and fatigued. To me, being succumb to the awful side effects of these drugs, which include a chance of getting cancer elsewhere in the body, would waste precious time. I plan on enjoying life to the fullest not lying in a bed sick. When I was first diagnosed the doctors wanted us to quickly make the decision to have both chemo and radiation. They were okay with us having faith but wanted us to make a “wise” decision. The word but should not follow faith. We knew having faith was in itself the wise decision not agreeing to the drugs without first turning to God. There are many who will consent to conventionally treatment and there’s nothing wrong with that because as I have mentioned before your healing is where your faith lies. However I come to know that trusting or perceiving what we only understand may mean we need a little work in the faith department.
Philippians 4:6-7 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
I don’t know why He chose this route for me but I’m so glad He did. We should meditate and pray continually on each circumstance because we never know when God’s plan is to use us. He has a purpose for us all. In the last post I looked up the real statics on lung cancer. Although, I knew the stats were daunting, this was the very first time I learned of the actual statics. You would think the statics would make us not follow traditional care but unfortunately it’s all most of us know. My husband and I talked about the statics and we both came to some very profound conclusions. My take on this was that our testimony is a testimony beyond our imagination and understanding. The results of treatment for this disease after all the years of research has not rendered what I would consider good or exceptional. Yet we don’t stop to think about it because all we know is traditional medicine and it is fear that brings us to this decision every time. I was saying here we are dealing with lung cancer yet healing from it simantaneously by giving our all to God which is the total opposite of the expected results by physicians. Our story is unique and will help others to realize the healing power God has, realize what it means to have sound faith in Him, and to look to Him and only see His face in any situation. Even Toia was like, “mom, do you know how many people are going to be blessed from hearing your story even people who don’t have cancer.”
My husband, with all his God given wisdom, says “not only is it a wonderful testimony but you are conquering this by taking your entire existence to God. You have given in to Him with your whole heart, body, mind, and spirit and this is where your healing is coming from. It’s not about just healing from the disease itself but the surrendering to Him in totality thereby allowing Him to use you to bless others”. He went on to say, “I hear you when you speak to people about this disease and its like a transformation happens at that moment and the person knows that it is the spirit.”…..Well, Amen!!!
I use to think that it would be great to get people to know Christ, to show them the way to become saved, and hoped God would use me in this capacity one day. I thought this was the major job of all Christians, find non believers and teach them about Christ. This journey has taught me that demonstrating to others how to build faith is an even bigger task because sometimes in involves self-sacrifice. God has often told us to love others more than ourselves. There are many who are saved that have not learned to walk faithfully with Christ. Jesus had to remind the disciples about faith on several occasions. So here is another reminder to you, remember the mustard seed and the mountain.
I told you that I wanted to enjoy life to the fullest, well I have found that complete and utter joy in Christ. It’s not about me or healing the disease its about this beautiful courtship I have discovered in Him while doing so. Furthermore, let me tell you how my precious time is spent now days. Last week my baby girl came back home to drop off some of her things as she prepares to graduate from college. I got a chance to spend some unexpected time with her. Most of the time was lounging on the couch watching “The Walking Dead” with me answering a million questions because she has no clue what’s happening because she missed a few episodes. This may be annoying to some but I just enjoyed her company. Then, yesterday June 2, we (Moya and I) spent the whole day with Bill and Tammy. We started with brunch at the Highland Bakery, then headed to the Farmer’s Market, then to the outlets and finally topped the evening off with dinner at Carrabbas. Moya and I went the whole day and did not realize it was our anniversary. Some may say this is crazy, well call us crazy but each day for us is precious and it was spent with two people who truly love and support us. We have been so entreached in each other and feeling each day is a celebration of our commitment and love to each other that days come and days go. It was not about the date or time it was sincerely about the love the four of us share. It was meant for us to spend the day with them as they gave me even more wisdom to dealing with the emotional stress. I needed them at that very moment and God arranged for us to enjoy each other’s presence for the entire day.
Well that’s all I have for this post. Please comment if you like. I will leave you with this: In the words of Paul, Rejoice in The Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!